The Dirty 9s – Lucy Opus

This twisterrific opus is the new single from marvellous young Dublin band The Dirty 9s, from whom we expect even greater things in 2010.  ‘Tis out this very day and can be downloaded right here. Take it away, chaps.

Crazy world, crazy guys

Halloween guises suit some people more than others, but surely none better than Aslan.  The Dublin band “rocked” Trim during the festivities while dressed as a rather convincing  jazz sextet, ”accordion” to this photo in the Meath Post.

Another Snore Patrol Best Of, already…

Hard on the heels of their Up To Now compilation, Scotland’s, Norn Iron’s, Britain’s, Ireland’s, Europe’s and SouthYemen’s finest band ever Snow Patrol are set to release a double spoken-word album* of singer Gary Lightbody’s endless platitudes to audiences all over the world.

His stock, crowd-pleasing utterances, in which he compliments the size or quality of any given venue or audience, have charmed armies of the converted for years. No matter the occasion, he seems never to tire of telling crowds from Belfast to Baranca, that they are simply the “best audience ever”.

Is this the worst record ever made?

It has to be.  Andrew Ridgeley’s 1990 ‘comeback’ single Shake truly is car crash stuff.  The video is appropriately nasty, but ignore it if you can and just listen to the song: after the cak-handed, overwrought acoustic intro, there’s this ‘intriguing’ and ‘dramatic’ pregnant pause – during which, it seems, Ridgeley trips up and falls into a drum kit.  Incredibly, they kept that bit in the final recording and somehow passed it off as a real drum intro.

Few remember Ridgeley’s solo debut (and, thus far, only) album Son Of Albert.  Fewer still own it, or remember it with any affection whatsoever.  Arguably, it is the the worst record ever made – of course, we’re not allowed to say that accolade applies to Freddie Mercury’s Mr Bad Guy anymore, because he’s dead.  But that’s another discussion for another day.

They Don’t Write Them Like They Used To…

The über stylish German act, Goombay Dance Band, featuring the incomparable Oliver Bendt, performing their only UK hit, Seven Tears.  This spent three weeks at Number One in 1981.  Wouldn’t happen nowadays.

Lor’ luv a duck! Chas & Dave are Hovis, mate…

The news that celebrated ‘rockney’ duo Chas & Dave have split up will come as a massive shock to the millions of people who had absolutely no idea they were still together.  I have to admit, I was in that category myself, but not entirely due to ignorance.

My Life Story In 50 Gigs

Good old Facebook. Without it, I really wouldn’t have a life. OK, I’ll qualify that: without it, I wouldn’t consolidate what makes up my life in such a structured fashion.  I’m not “into” autobiography (I found writing my own “about” section for this blog and for a State featured writer blurb hugely difficult) but the older you get, the more you realise that you are the sum of your memories. And what defines a person like me more than the things I  collect – namely, books, CDs and ticket stubs.

Three friends ‘tagged’ me in a Facebook reminiscence about listing the first 50 gigs you went to that come into your head.  I know I’m terrible for accentuating the negatives at times but sometimes they’re the funniest memories. However, all my great gigs came flooding back to me as well as some truly terrible ones, and, as always, I couldn’t simply list them, I just had to explain myself. And, after I’d written them out, I realised there were some silly omissions – but rewriting and rejigging weren’t in the rules.  The other rule I applied to myself was not to include gigs I reviewed when I first became a journalist – so the list goes up to 2003 only.  The hardest part was actually assembling them in chronological order, as I’m writing this on holiday without any ticket stubs or diaries to even check; however, I know I’m pretty much on the button with most of them, such is my peculiar type of memory – great for trivia, crap for remembering birthdays, phone numbers, appointments and what on earth I went upstairs for.

So here are those 50 gigs which which make up my so-called life story – self-indulgence sometimes rocks.

Dead Whingers Society

Originally published on SoundsXP, 4th May, 2005

Scene 13 – The Rector’s Office, St Xenolith the Pure, Boarding School of Music

THE RECTOR IS SEATED IN A LEATHER CHAIR BEHIND A GIANT MAHOGANY DESK.

ENTER THE DEPUTY, A TROUBLED LOOK UPON HIS FACE.

THE RECTOR PEERS OVER HIS SPECTACLES AT HIM, AS THE DEPUTY  ADVANCES SHEEPISHLY TOWARDS THE RECTOR’S DESK.

DEPUTY: Rector, please forgive my intrusion.

RECTOR : Your expression and general demeanour don’t inspire me with confidence. I take it that I am not expected to be delighted by your forthcoming revelation?

DEPUTY: Well, Sir, regretfully, I have some… erm… grave news, Sir…

RECTOR: Out with it, Deputy!

DEPUTY: Unfortunately, I have it on good authority from the head boy; I’m afraid, Sir, that, in spite of all our best efforts, there have been subversive sounds heard in the night.

RECTOR: Subversive sounds? What sort of subversive sounds?

DEPUTY: They were described to me as, if you please, Sir.. (gulps) the faint whingeings of Fishjumpery…

Pointless Nostalgia: Patrick Hernandez

When Jim Carroll posted details about the latest round of Electric Picnic acts on his blog, one reader was so bewildered by the inclusion of Kid Creole & the Coconuts that they replied, “Kid Creole !!?? Mother of God!  Anybody for Patrick Hernandez?”

Now there would have been a reason for me to go without comfort for an entire weekend.  Patrick Hernandez’s biggest and, let’s be honest, only real worldwide hit, Born To Be Alive from 1979, is still one of my favourite songs.  It’s like all your electric Giorgio Moroder dreams come true.  Oh, and the video simply can’t be beaten for non-stop paving-the-way-for-Gary-Barlow dancing.  Sigh.  It could be that I’m just entirely, soppily nostalgic about this song, but the 10-year-old me was a very happy soul and it just takes me back there; maybe 1979 wasn’t the sunniest summer on record but it certainly seems like it listening to this.

Windy & Wild