Way to go, Delio!

So farewell, Delio Rossi.  After six months at the helm of my beloved Fiorentina, the frustration he, his players and all of us who shout for the Viola share, finally blew into violence when he took several swipes at insubordinate young forward Adem Ljajic in full view of the world. Today, he finds himself fired, by no means for the first time in his career – only this time, with a reputation that he’s as mad as cheese.

As the video shows, Ljajic deserved what he got, sarcastically applauding his gaffer’s decision to substitute him after half an hour, at a time when Fiorentina were 0-2 down to second-bottom club Novara. As it turned out, a 2-2 draw semi-vindicates Rossi’s decision, and the result leaves the Viola a point from Serie A safety with two games remaining – against fellow relegation candidates Lecce and Cagliari.

I never never want to go home, because I haven’t Gok Wan…

Clever old spammers.  No sooner is Gok Wan in Dublin to peddle his range of retro frames at Specsavers than the cookies get to work trying to find appropriate blog posts to spam.  Congrats to the cookies, then, for finding several posts on IHGN which, for some obscure reason, seem to suggest that I’m a Smiths fan.

Are cookies able to work these things out?   Did they say, “Oh! You know that Morrissey Smith fellah, he wore retro NHS specs before they were retro, didn’t he?  Let’s SPAM his fans!”?

Jeremys #4: Healy

Fourth in a “series” of short tributes to well-known people called Jeremy

There was a short period of time when Jeremy Healy was a hero of mine.  Back in 1982, before I really knew what clothes were for, I was smitten by a pair of musical designer tramps called Haysi Fantayzee, featuring Jeremy ‘Jeremiah’ Healy and the lovely Kate Garner. I’d never seen donkey jackets look cool on anyone, even Michael Foot, so it was rather a surprise to see these two leaping around on Top of the Pops, strutting a ‘style’ that looked, for about thirty seconds, like it might catch on.  Apart from hits like John Wayne Is Big Leggy and Shiny Shiny, they were famed for this scruffy appearance, their saucy utterings and their penchant for drawing designs on their clothes and footwear using silver and gold felt tip pens.  Heroic!

Roger? I still would…

Sir Roger Moore turned 83 today.  They say you shouldn’t meet your heroes but I always hold out a little hope I’ll meet him one day.  He was my first pin-up hero, the first ‘person I wanted to be’.  I’m not sure who bought me the giant Roger Moore poster on my wall when I was only 4, but I really wish I still had it.

As I spent a huge proportion of my childhood in front of the telly (which is why I’m 25 stone and live on crisps*), he came into my live (suavely) as Simon Templar in The Saint and as Lord Brett Sinclair in The Persuaders with the late, great Tony Curtis.  I’ve been watching reruns of The Saint lately and they still stand up; he’s still heroic.

He was also my first style icon.  Whenever my grandmother would take me to buy clothes, even as a 3-year-old, I only wanted to buy shirts and ties – that’s what Roger always wore.  Not sure they were matching paisley-patterned ones, mind you, but it was good enough for me.

Ham roll with the changes?

How did I miss this?  Have Ham Sandwich have done a ‘Sugababes’ and changed their entire line-up?  This photo beside the review of their new album White Fox in this morning’s Metro Herald is the first I’ve heard of it. 

Either that, or it’s the first published result of a wacky new Hot Press photoshoot, where Podge and Niamh impersonate famous Irish presenter duos. 

Moonbase Alpha, we miss you

I forgot this last year, a happy anniversary to the crew of Moonbase Alpha, who, along with the moon, disappeared from the earth’s orbit due to a ‘massive nuclear explosion’ on this day 11 years ago.  Obviously, we here on Earth have no idea where you are these days but we sincerely hope you’re all right.  And that you’re still wearing those lovely one-piece uniforms with the bell bottoms that simply reeked of, ooh, 1975. 

England is (still) not Britain

The arrogance of The English (formerly known as the England football team) and misguided opinion of their own importance continues to show it knows no boundaries or sense of perspective.  Not only have they launched a new and expensive football kit when their popularity is at an all-time low, and even their most stupidly die-hard fans are unlikely to want to buy it, they have returned to the preposterous idea that they are somehow “Britain” by once again manufacturing BLUE shorts.

It always struck me as being the height of imperial ignorance that The English wore blue, a colour which appears nowhere on their flag and has no other reason for appearing than its appearance on the British flag – which is, of course, courtesy of us Scots.  In a way it’s flattering that they’re so keen to include us but I, for one, really don’t wish to be involved.  Getting England to realise it’s not Britain is almost as hard as trying to convince America it’s not the World – but I’m sure we’ll carry on reminding them both.

Does the photoshop have a refund policy?

Now, fair play to this chap above who not only decided to lop off his rather appalling “heyday” hair, he also had the deed done for charity – I’m sure many of his friends and family paid handsomely to see the back of it.

Not so fair play, though, to the technology whizzkid from the “local” newspaper who decided that, rather than separate ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures, they’d photoshop them together.  The result was this atrociously mangled manipulation which appears to show that the chap in question not only lost his hair, but had his left arm severed as well.

Medium rare

I’m not one for giving free advertising to any old spooky crank but I feel it’s my duty to give this chap a little exposure.  Meet John, who’s evidently the Austin Powers of the parapsychological world; he’s not just a psychic medium and clairvoyant, he’s an international psychic medium and clairvoyant.  Just cross his palm with plastic and the fog will lift on “your pathway of destiny”, allowing you to more easily “explore the possibilities of your future”, all from the comfort of your own home if necessary.  The boy will even attend your house parties - what could be more perfect and reassuring for those getting on a bit than a clairvoyant turning up at your party to remind you that the dead still hang around and talk to parties?  All the same, image is everything these days and it’s a pity John didn’t explore the future possibilities of his own hair loss, allow the fog to lift from his own mirror and listen to the voices from well before the grave: 

Skirting around the real education issues in Dublin 4

With schools returning from their summer recess, the focus shifts to our children’s education once again. At this time of year, difficult choices lie ahead of them; as always, one wonders just how well-equipped they are to cope and whether potentially life-changing decisions, which have to be taken at such a tender age, will stand up to close scrutiny.

Take the words of one concerned young girl on a public message board as an example of the sorts of dilemmas facing today’s teenagers: “I was just wondering how short you think the skirts girls wear to Wezz should be? Some of them are ridiculously short but what do you think is acceptable? Just curious…!”

Finding sensible, supportive advice to these sensitive issues from reliable sources is crucial at this stage of a child’s development. Fortunately for this particular poster, a sound, commonsense opinion was forthcoming: “I think skirts look reli hot, wit a respectable top, lyk if u have a reli short skirt and a reli revealing top, u just luk cheap.”